Kezia Noble (pictured) is a leading female dating coach for men and author of The Noble Art of Seducing Women. She was nice enough to share some of her knowledge for the good of men everywhere.
Most guys have their standard ‘first date’ set up. A place they know and somewhere they feel comfortable. You have an idea of what you need to say, what you need to avoid saying and when to get the bill.
As a result, sometimes you get lucky and sometimes you don’t, but by following these 5 ‘First date ‘Don't's” it’ll become clear a few small tweaks and a step out of the comfort zone can make all the difference.
1. Avoid romantic dinners
It might seem like a good idea at first, but in reality we often can’t relax and be ourselves when we are being force-fed a certain ‘mood’ or ‘experience’. Sitting opposite someone we have only just met, with flowers and candles between us, whilst being surrounded by couples who have already established their feelings for each other does not create a relaxing atmosphere.
Plus, a long drawn out romantic dinner date can put too much pressure on the outcome as we are not sure how we feel about you yet, so make sure everyone receives enough flexibility to enjoy the moment.
2. Don’t go to places where you can’t interact
Many men make the mistake of taking a first date to a very noisy bar, or a cinema or a live music gig. You usually choose this option, because you believe that this kind of environment will eliminate any uncomfortable silences or awkward moments. This lazy option might help you to avoid awkward silences but it will also cancel out the chances of actually getting to know each other, which is what a first date is essentially all about.
3. Don’t over compliment her
Women want to feel special, not idolised. Men often believe that if they shower their first date with endless compliments, it will make her feel more confident and desired. The truth is, women get suspicious of a man who over compliments, and after the first three or four, the novelty wears off. Choose one or two strong compliments that are specific and feel tailor made for her, rather than a collection of generic compliments that could be meant for any woman.
4. Don’t get trapped in the ‘friend zone’
It's a date! You’re not having a drink with your sister or your work colleague. Flirting doesn't have to be sleazy or excessive, and you don’t need to be good with words either. Just a few non-verbal tweaks and well placed pauses can create a hair line shift in the mood of the interaction, and help take it from something platonic into something a little more seductive. Remember, you don’t want to end up in that dreaded friend zone.
5. Don’t let her organise the date
This might sound a little antiquated, but women still desire a man with a plan who can take the lead and show initiative, more than a man who needs suggestions to come up with an idea or a mummy to tell him what to do.
Don’t be too concerned if she doesn't like Italian food or if she prefers bars that play jazz rather than bars that play rock music, what’s important is how she handles it. If she’s rude or complains, then let this be a clear indicator to you of what’s to come. So long, as you can both hear each other, or there's something on the menu that she ‘can eat’ (obviously dietary requirements and allergies are subject to this rule) then there’s no reason for her to be rude or unwilling to get to know you.
Sign up for workout ideas, training advice, the latest gear and more.
Thank you for signing up to Coach. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.